AKRON, Ohio – When he travels to PGA Tour Champions events, Billy Mayfair carries the written report from his 2019 autism spectrum disorder tests with him.
If he wonders why he acted or reacted a certain way during a rough day, he will read through the eight pages and realize what happened was normal for him.
“You don’t want to do it maybe every day, but it’s OK,” he said. “I guess I’m a little bit easier on myself.”
Mayfair, 54, revealed his autism diagnosis, his a high-functioning level similar to Asperger’s syndrome, in an April interview with Sports Illustrated’s Stephanie Apstein.
After playing the PGA Tour for 30 years and the Champions Tour for nearly three more, he said Friday after his round at the Bridgestone Senior Players Championship at Firestone Country Club that he never considered giving up professional golf.
“No, I never thought about that,” Mayfair said. “When I realized I had it and read the diagnosis, I said, ‘This could actually help me.’
“Now I can realize why do I get stuck sometimes and why do I have this problem sometimes. It’s been a couple years now and I’m still learning every day and struggling every once in a while. But when I do, I say, ‘You’re frustrated, but it’s OK. It’s not always your fault. Part’s the autism, too.’”
In a way, the report helped Mayfair make sense of his life.
“It was very hard when I was diagnosed with it. I was like anyone else, I was in denial,” Mayfair said. “I was normal, everyone else was messed up. I went that way for a long time until a doctor did the testing on me.
“I read the report and things started popping up in my head and I’m going, ‘This is why I had problems in college and high school. And why sometimes I can’t see my notes out here and why I write everything down.’ I said, ‘You shouldn’t be ashamed because that’s what you have to do.’”
Billy Mayfair tees off at the first hole during the Chubb Classic Pro Am, Wednesday, April 14, 2021, at the Tiburon Golf Club in North Naples.
Mayfair pulled out his yardage book on Saturday and showed reminders like “Stay in the moment” he has written inside.
Now he understands why he hated school and sought refuge in golf.
“It’s like sometimes a lightbulb goes off,” he said. “I used to always beat myself up, I’d say, ‘I’m not real smart. I didn’t do good in school.’
“But I’d go practice and I would love to be on the golf course because I was by myself. Baseball, football, other team sports where there was everybody around, I didn’t do as well. But when I came out to the golf course where I could go to the range and hit balls all by myself and be in my own little world and take my own time, I did very, very well … The peace.”
Mayfair’s wife Tami pushed him to get tested in November, 2019, after he was disqualified from the Champions Tour Invesco QQQ Championship. Now the couple plans to start The Billy and Tami Mayfair Foundation to help parents, families and others close to those with autism.
“There’s nothing out there for the parents, the girlfriend, the wife, the children,” Mayfair said. “How about you have three children and one of them has autism, what about the other two? How do they function? You don’t want to say they’re neglected, but so much time is put into the one.
“Even with someone who has high-functioning autism, live with him every day and see how different it is. That’s why it was so important for us to try to help the people who are around this person, not just the person with the autism.”
Mayfair, who remains the only golfer to beat Tiger Woods in a PGA Tour playoff in the 1998 Nissan Open, also hopes talking about the challenges he faces will help youth who have been diagnosed on the spectrum.
“I got with my wife and said, ‘We need to kind of get this out in the open so anyone can know they can go out in the real world and have a normal life and be very successful,” he said. “More importantly have a successful marriage, be a successful parent and live a normal life because sometimes when you’re labeled with autism, you think you’re cooped up in a house.”
Mayfair said he was fortunate while attending Arizona State that some of his professors realized he froze during tests and instead quizzed him orally. He had tutors while there, but would fail a written test even when they had him fully prepared.
While playing golf, Mayfair’s autism most affects his speed at processing information, which affects his thinking during a round. He said that remains the toughest part of his life on the Champions Tour.
“I know at times I’m going to need — and not on every shot — every once in a while, I’m going to need a minute or two to gather my thoughts,” he said.
He can be put on the clock for slow play, but since his highly publicized disqualification and diagnosis, some changes have been made. He said when that happens, he’s now being notified before he tees off, rather than in the fairway.
“What we’ve realized is when they tell me down the fairway, my brain starts going quick and I start going back to A, and then I’m A, B and C, then I’m slower,” he said. “Even though I’m trying to speed up, I look like I’m playing slower. So I look like I’m being a [jerk], ‘Oh, you told me, now I’m going to slow down.’
“That’s not my intention, it’s just the way my brain was working. Most of the officials out here are understanding; they’re trying to help.”
Billy Mayfair hits of the third tee during the first round of the Bridgestone Senior Players Championship at Firestone Country Club on Thursday June 24, 2021 in Akron. (Akron Beacon Journal)
Mayfair said traveling through crowded airports, packed airplanes, busy hotels and signing post-round autographs can present problems. But even driving flustered him before his diagnosis.
“I got to the point where I hated to drive. Would there be traffic? I never realized, ‘Why am I getting so stressed about driving? I’m a good driver.’ It’s just the anxiety of the whole thing,” he said.
As he adjusts to his life, Mayfair has found that a couple swigs of caffeine — usually coffee, Mountain Dew or Coke — before he goes to bed helps him sleep.
“My wife would say, ‘You can’t do that, it will keep you up all night,’” he said. “Where everyone would think it would get my mind jump-started, it actually relaxes my mind. Everybody’s chemistry is just a little bit different.”
Mayfair said no one in his or his wife’s family has autism, although he knew a couple people associated with the tour who had been diagnosed themselves or had children on the spectrum. He believes that led to his denial phase, saying, “You would look at the low-functioning autism and say, ‘I’m not like him.’”
But now that he’s come to grips with it and has begun publicly discussing autism, Mayfair said he’s heard from people who read his story and were prompted to get tested. He said some professional athletes have thanked him because they know they have it.
Mayfair believes college and professional coaches and owners are starting to realize that it’s worth investing the time and resources to help players.
“Coaches and owners are starting to realize that some of the athletes on the high spectrum may be that franchise player,” Mayfair said. “Instead of looking at the person and saying, ‘We can’t work with him’ and push him off to the side, if they give him maybe an hour of more work, he could be our star.”
from Golfweek https://ift.tt/3xUV5EU
